Dr B says all looks good. The babe hasn't dropped, so he's not worried about early labour (which is good, cos he's going to be away Mon-Thurs next week, typical, hey?) I see him next Friday and he'll assess chances of natural birth ("push this baby out", like it's something strange and not done often). If not good, then we'll book a caesar for Mon 12th. If all good, then we wait and see. Please send baby-stay-in thoughts for Mon-Thur next week. I really don't want to do this without Dr B.
I had a much better night last night. Perhaps cos I bunked off work at 2 and rested most of the afternoon/evening. I am FORCING myself to slow down now. Not easy. Gareth pats my belly this morning and says "hello mammoth" (I am assuming he meant hello baby, not hello mommy). Matthew says this morning "we sharing the baby" when I tell him it's going to come soon. Aaaawww.
Wednesday, August 31
Tuesday, August 30
yes, still hormonal
I cried this morning watching SKY news and Hurricane Katrina. I cried 3 stories on: African illegal immigrants being burned out of their hostel in Paris. I cried reading Tara's blog. I cried telling someone about Hurricane Katrina.
So, yes, I am still hormonal. I suppose it's really to be expected.
And I am feeling particularly uncomfortable (though I won't admit it in person readily). Now I understand when people say "the last month is the worst" (I never had a last "month" with the boys, them being 3 weeks early). Even than silly comment I've heard a hundred times in the last week "Are you still walking?" is starting to make sense (like, ja! but now I'm thinking I'd rather not be).
We have an appointment with Dr B this afternoon. We'll probably get our final direction re: VBAC (I'm losing hope) and maybe even a "date". Will let you know soonest...
So, yes, I am still hormonal. I suppose it's really to be expected.
And I am feeling particularly uncomfortable (though I won't admit it in person readily). Now I understand when people say "the last month is the worst" (I never had a last "month" with the boys, them being 3 weeks early). Even than silly comment I've heard a hundred times in the last week "Are you still walking?" is starting to make sense (like, ja! but now I'm thinking I'd rather not be).
We have an appointment with Dr B this afternoon. We'll probably get our final direction re: VBAC (I'm losing hope) and maybe even a "date". Will let you know soonest...
Monday, August 29
Hormonal
I am seriously hormonal.
I bowed to the boys' request (demand?) to watch Dinosaur this morning. Usually I like them to watch something short that won't hold their attention (like JayJay the Jetplane), so that I don't have their tears when I drag them away to school. Fortunately we'd watched to just over half way last night, so I was able to estimated a part which would take us to the end at about 7am, so I wouldn't have to drag them... It worked. I did sharing-caring porridge, then ate my own breakfast in front of it, with running commentary (being careful not to talk with my mouth full). What I didn't expect, was that I would cry. In two places. Once when Aladar's girlfriend helped some tired baby iguanodons on their migration, and again when the grumpy leader of the herd died. Seriously. This can't go on. I managed to hide the embarrassing incident from the boys. They were riveted (to Dinosaur) anyway.
What do we feed the boys? Here's a synopsis:
1. Breakfast of sharing-caring porridge: One huge bowl of pronutro, add an entertaining 10 minute TV programme, shovel "one spoon for Tim" and "one spoon for Matt" alternately into boys' mouths, without them really noticing. Add half a banana or a naarjie, if you have them in the house and you have enough energy.
2. Lunch at Nana's house: Portion of the-biggest-pot-we-can-find mixed veg (butternut, sweet potatoes, gem squash) and mince (frozen and put in Nana's freezer). Or fish cakes and mashed potato... Mom vH offered to take the "difficult" meal off our hands, mostly cos we get home too late to be making stuff and fighting with them... Pride in pocket, we accepted.
3. Supper of (you guessed it) rolls with cheese & bovril, fruit and milk.
So, not rocket-science. In fact, one of the few cases of us submitting to the "path of least resistance". I used to be pedantic about what the boys ate and when. Now I just ride the wave. It's much better.
With the boys' learning names of things (birds, insects, dinosaurs etc), I think the following factors play some kind of role:
1. Matthew's capacity to remember stuff. Especially stuff that interests him.
2. Their Dad. He's just amazing with knowing names of animals & plants (ref: zoo text books). He totally skipped the "birdie" stage and just told them "kingfisher". It does help that we have them (live) where we live. We've realised the boys' brains are sponges: they'll take in as much as you give. If they're going to learn "birdie", they might as well learn "kingfisher". (I have stopped G from teaching them the Latin name, they just might get precocious.)
3. Our reluctance/refusal to read them stuff that doesn't interest us (ie Noddy). We're totally with you, James, but we just hide the books they want if we don't want them!
4. Just Kidding: the boys' playschool. They have fortnightly themes which are fun, informative, visual and repetitive.
5. Our realisation that they learn easily stuff they're interested in. We're just trying to figure out how to convert Tim's need to dismantle stuff into a learning experience. Puzzles just aren't doing it for him. (Note to self: visit Experilab before I go on maternity leave.)
6. Animal Planet (variation on #3). Cartoon network is banned.
7. Kalahari.net & CNA. I just LOVE buying books. We have heaps. And it's a pretty laudable way to spend money, eh?
I bowed to the boys' request (demand?) to watch Dinosaur this morning. Usually I like them to watch something short that won't hold their attention (like JayJay the Jetplane), so that I don't have their tears when I drag them away to school. Fortunately we'd watched to just over half way last night, so I was able to estimated a part which would take us to the end at about 7am, so I wouldn't have to drag them... It worked. I did sharing-caring porridge, then ate my own breakfast in front of it, with running commentary (being careful not to talk with my mouth full). What I didn't expect, was that I would cry. In two places. Once when Aladar's girlfriend helped some tired baby iguanodons on their migration, and again when the grumpy leader of the herd died. Seriously. This can't go on. I managed to hide the embarrassing incident from the boys. They were riveted (to Dinosaur) anyway.
What do we feed the boys? Here's a synopsis:
1. Breakfast of sharing-caring porridge: One huge bowl of pronutro, add an entertaining 10 minute TV programme, shovel "one spoon for Tim" and "one spoon for Matt" alternately into boys' mouths, without them really noticing. Add half a banana or a naarjie, if you have them in the house and you have enough energy.
2. Lunch at Nana's house: Portion of the-biggest-pot-we-can-find mixed veg (butternut, sweet potatoes, gem squash) and mince (frozen and put in Nana's freezer). Or fish cakes and mashed potato... Mom vH offered to take the "difficult" meal off our hands, mostly cos we get home too late to be making stuff and fighting with them... Pride in pocket, we accepted.
3. Supper of (you guessed it) rolls with cheese & bovril, fruit and milk.
So, not rocket-science. In fact, one of the few cases of us submitting to the "path of least resistance". I used to be pedantic about what the boys ate and when. Now I just ride the wave. It's much better.
With the boys' learning names of things (birds, insects, dinosaurs etc), I think the following factors play some kind of role:
1. Matthew's capacity to remember stuff. Especially stuff that interests him.
2. Their Dad. He's just amazing with knowing names of animals & plants (ref: zoo text books). He totally skipped the "birdie" stage and just told them "kingfisher". It does help that we have them (live) where we live. We've realised the boys' brains are sponges: they'll take in as much as you give. If they're going to learn "birdie", they might as well learn "kingfisher". (I have stopped G from teaching them the Latin name, they just might get precocious.)
3. Our reluctance/refusal to read them stuff that doesn't interest us (ie Noddy). We're totally with you, James, but we just hide the books they want if we don't want them!
4. Just Kidding: the boys' playschool. They have fortnightly themes which are fun, informative, visual and repetitive.
5. Our realisation that they learn easily stuff they're interested in. We're just trying to figure out how to convert Tim's need to dismantle stuff into a learning experience. Puzzles just aren't doing it for him. (Note to self: visit Experilab before I go on maternity leave.)
6. Animal Planet (variation on #3). Cartoon network is banned.
7. Kalahari.net & CNA. I just LOVE buying books. We have heaps. And it's a pretty laudable way to spend money, eh?
Saturday, August 27
Scrapbooking, power cuts and storm surf (not in that order)
“I’m in the zone…” Got my mojo back, and scrapbooking like crazy. Perhaps I’m trying to get some “closure” (?) with some of the boys’ recent photos before I have heaps to do of the new bebe. And as you can see, red is the colour.
We had a power cut last evening, and had fun with the boys, defrosting rolls in the oven (thank heavens for gas!), playing with candles and telling stories. It was pretty disappointing when the lights came back on (about 6.45). We’ve said it before, that we should do a self-imposed power cut, especially in winter, light a fire and some candles and enjoy the quiet. Somehow things are much quieter when it’s dark.
And howling wind and storm surf. Thought Em might want to see the waves – photo taken from our deck! These are monster waves.
We had a power cut last evening, and had fun with the boys, defrosting rolls in the oven (thank heavens for gas!), playing with candles and telling stories. It was pretty disappointing when the lights came back on (about 6.45). We’ve said it before, that we should do a self-imposed power cut, especially in winter, light a fire and some candles and enjoy the quiet. Somehow things are much quieter when it’s dark.
And howling wind and storm surf. Thought Em might want to see the waves – photo taken from our deck! These are monster waves.
Friday, August 26
the discerning toddler
In the vein of James, some current insights from our discerning toddlers:
1. a roll with cheese and bovril is infinitely better than a piece of toast with the same
2. "dinosaur" is way better than "the little mermaid 2" (thank heavens)
3. the car your brother has is better than the one you have
4. mommy's singing is better than dad's
5. the reaction you get from mom/dad/both parents when driving your black bike IN the house is far more entertaining than when driving your black bike on the deck
6. a mommy that is angry and quiet is way worse than a mommy that is angry and yelling
In other news... Tim and Matt made me VERY PROUD today at school. Their new theme is birds, and Ali had 5 stuffed birds from the museum on the theme table. My boys could identify 4 out of 5 without any prompting: kingfisher, seagull, loerie (ok, they said "grey loerie", but it was a "knysna loerie") & owl. The fifth I couldn't even get - it looked like a kestrel, but Ali said it was a something-something hawk (but v tiny). Could it have been the lesser-known dwarf hawk? I must look it up.
1. a roll with cheese and bovril is infinitely better than a piece of toast with the same
2. "dinosaur" is way better than "the little mermaid 2" (thank heavens)
3. the car your brother has is better than the one you have
4. mommy's singing is better than dad's
5. the reaction you get from mom/dad/both parents when driving your black bike IN the house is far more entertaining than when driving your black bike on the deck
6. a mommy that is angry and quiet is way worse than a mommy that is angry and yelling
In other news... Tim and Matt made me VERY PROUD today at school. Their new theme is birds, and Ali had 5 stuffed birds from the museum on the theme table. My boys could identify 4 out of 5 without any prompting: kingfisher, seagull, loerie (ok, they said "grey loerie", but it was a "knysna loerie") & owl. The fifth I couldn't even get - it looked like a kestrel, but Ali said it was a something-something hawk (but v tiny). Could it have been the lesser-known dwarf hawk? I must look it up.
Thursday, August 25
A man is better at grocery shopping
No seriously, he is. Well, mine is. Especially if we've written the list together (that way I can take some of the blame if something's "forgotten"). He sticks to the list, he doesn't strain carrying 14 litres of milk and he doesn't get irritated. While I'm incapacitated with bebe for the next few months, I won't be surprised if we can double our bond repayments with the money we save on grocery shopping.
You guessed it... Gareth did shopping yesterday. Without prompting and totally willing. We threw some words together into a mind-list at 6.25 yesterday morning, and yesterday afternoon, he'd done it. Now, he did actally deviate from his list. Very unlike him, but these are exceptional circumstances. He bought me TWO VANILLA YOGI-SIPS (which I had to hide from my first born: "What's yat, mom?")
He most definitely is my favourite husband.
You guessed it... Gareth did shopping yesterday. Without prompting and totally willing. We threw some words together into a mind-list at 6.25 yesterday morning, and yesterday afternoon, he'd done it. Now, he did actally deviate from his list. Very unlike him, but these are exceptional circumstances. He bought me TWO VANILLA YOGI-SIPS (which I had to hide from my first born: "What's yat, mom?")
He most definitely is my favourite husband.
Wednesday, August 24
after reading dooce, i can't think of anything witty to write here
This kind of mental instability has class: dooce
Thank you for introducing us, James.
Thank you for introducing us, James.
Tag, you're it...
Disclaimer: So I don't normally do this. I'm not a forwarder of junk mail or chain letters. I actually get miffed when people do it to me (mostly). But seeing that some scrap-legends (aka Donna & CathyZ) are doing it, I have to climb on...
5 random things about me:
1. I relish change. I buck against routine. It's one of Gareth & my "opposites".
2. I have a masculine capacity to burp when I'm pregnant. (No, Gareth-dear, only I'M allowed to talk about that. It's a marital courtesy that you don't.)
3. I don't like wearing makeup, but I know I look better with it. So I use it only when I need to feel better about myself.
4. I think I love travelling. Well, I know I love the anticipation and the memories, sometimes not sure about the ACTUAL travel.
5. I can't stand negative and/or dramatic people. I go out of my way to contradict them or make statements which minimize their drama (or ignore them if I have an iota of respect for them on another level).
There. Heidi, TAG, you're it...
5 random things about me:
1. I relish change. I buck against routine. It's one of Gareth & my "opposites".
2. I have a masculine capacity to burp when I'm pregnant. (No, Gareth-dear, only I'M allowed to talk about that. It's a marital courtesy that you don't.)
3. I don't like wearing makeup, but I know I look better with it. So I use it only when I need to feel better about myself.
4. I think I love travelling. Well, I know I love the anticipation and the memories, sometimes not sure about the ACTUAL travel.
5. I can't stand negative and/or dramatic people. I go out of my way to contradict them or make statements which minimize their drama (or ignore them if I have an iota of respect for them on another level).
There. Heidi, TAG, you're it...
Tuesday, August 23
Over and under
I get to work this morning feeling overwhelmed and undermined. But in my inbox are three messages that make me feel warm and valued. I vote we keep this modern technology.
Monday, August 22
We win
An email from Kath reminded me that we beat Australia (again). Amazing.
Oh, and I get a BLT from the sandwich lady 5 minutes ago. How cool is that? I mentioned to her on Friday, when buying a BT (minus the L) for the first time, that when we were overseas we used to buy BLTs (from Pret, obviously), so she makes me one this am. How cool is that? "You win again"
Oh, and I get a BLT from the sandwich lady 5 minutes ago. How cool is that? I mentioned to her on Friday, when buying a BT (minus the L) for the first time, that when we were overseas we used to buy BLTs (from Pret, obviously), so she makes me one this am. How cool is that? "You win again"
Calm
I've just written a long rambling post about being calm. About being calm about the baby coming, about being calm about leaving work (in someone else's incapable hands)... And lost it. I'm even quite calm about that...
My big-baby-book says for week 37 (which I'm approaching): "You'll be feeling uncomfortable, but calm." Amazing. I'm amazed at how pregnancy adjusts your body and psyc for what's required.
A few weeks ago I was very un-calm about leaving work, I was considering buying a fax machine so I could work from home, so that I didn't have deligate the so-called "important" bits of my job. Now, I'm feeling like I'm glad they won't be able to contact me. I'll be able to concentrate on this baby and on myself. And I'm thoroughly calm about leaving this all behind.
My big-baby-book says for week 37 (which I'm approaching): "You'll be feeling uncomfortable, but calm." Amazing. I'm amazed at how pregnancy adjusts your body and psyc for what's required.
A few weeks ago I was very un-calm about leaving work, I was considering buying a fax machine so I could work from home, so that I didn't have deligate the so-called "important" bits of my job. Now, I'm feeling like I'm glad they won't be able to contact me. I'll be able to concentrate on this baby and on myself. And I'm thoroughly calm about leaving this all behind.
Sunday, August 21
strength
Heidi's scrapbooking challenge... Done quickly at Ali's house ('cept printing... on our new 3-in-1 printer!!) Ali took the pictures on the Hamburg beach.
Vomit
Heard in the family beast (Opel Astra Estate) on Friday night, on the way to a staff function.
Tim: look, Dad
Gareth (in mid-sentence conversation with significant other): Tim, I’m driving, I can’t look
Tim: looooook, Dad
Gareth: What is it, Tim
Tim: look, Dad, vomit
*giggles from front seats and a short pause*
Matt: look, Dad
Kerry: No, Matt, no.
Tim: look, Dad
Gareth (in mid-sentence conversation with significant other): Tim, I’m driving, I can’t look
Tim: looooook, Dad
Gareth: What is it, Tim
Tim: look, Dad, vomit
*giggles from front seats and a short pause*
Matt: look, Dad
Kerry: No, Matt, no.
Friday, August 19
Update: babe within
It seems I may be giving birth to a baby mammoth... Aside from the incredible amount of movement (more than I remember with 2 babes within), this is a big baby! At the last scan (a month ago), the weight was estimated at 1.6kg. Dr B said that should make a 3.2kg babe at term. Well, Wed's scan (35 weeks) showed a babe already at 3.2kg! No wonder it's been feeling a bit cumbersome. And probably from all the vanilla yogi-sip I've been feeding us (let's not speak about chocolate... I have SOME dignity left.) This doesn't bode well for a natural birth, as the uterus scar from previous caesar may be put under strain, but Dr B will assess situation at 38 weeks. When I asked him about the "horror stories" of forcep & suction birth, he got on the defensive (I probably shouldn't have used the term "horror", and should have made it clear that none of these stories I'd heard were at his hand... I can be a pea-brain, really). His body language made it very clear he doesn't like these kinds of questions (leaning on his table with his arms and legs crossed!!) I don't think I need to worry about those modes of delivery.
The boys are "bakermen" today - every Friday, their school has a bakerman who brings "cookies" and sells them to the rest of the kids. The bakerman gets to use the till and takes money (much "please" and "thank-yous" going on here). Gareth and I (mostly Gareth) made banana muffins last night and ate toast for supper. I made banana muffins last bakerday, and have decided (thanks, Heidi) that I am a-competitive (not anti-) about outdoing other moms or myself. Why change what works (for me)? I am amazed how the boys aren't aware that when it's their turn, they BOTH get to be bakerman... not just one of them. Sharing's caring! The van Harmelen's next bakerday is 16th Sept, pretty close to due date, but Nana's going to do that for us.
I blog today with a great cuppa tea and a banana muffin (us mammoths have to eat), and I get this email from Emma:
I'm so glad I could help, Emz.
The boys are "bakermen" today - every Friday, their school has a bakerman who brings "cookies" and sells them to the rest of the kids. The bakerman gets to use the till and takes money (much "please" and "thank-yous" going on here). Gareth and I (mostly Gareth) made banana muffins last night and ate toast for supper. I made banana muffins last bakerday, and have decided (thanks, Heidi) that I am a-competitive (not anti-) about outdoing other moms or myself. Why change what works (for me)? I am amazed how the boys aren't aware that when it's their turn, they BOTH get to be bakerman... not just one of them. Sharing's caring! The van Harmelen's next bakerday is 16th Sept, pretty close to due date, but Nana's going to do that for us.
I blog today with a great cuppa tea and a banana muffin (us mammoths have to eat), and I get this email from Emma:
P.S Ker...Thanks for having twins...as a result I am now able to be very successful in my new job. Got new kid and today I was able to put on nappie,mix formula and put to sleep without tears but lots of singing from me!! Yesterday she squealed so much and left red marks on my Chinese co teacher so today I gave it a try and the strategies I learnt with the twins worked a treat with her...rock on! Fortunately, she is the only one who needs that kind of attention, all the others just sleep without nappies and bottles. Hee..hee!
I'm so glad I could help, Emz.
Wednesday, August 17
Miracles and Sunday Music
Ok, so I've found this biodegradable range of household cleaners (non-animate). The company has been going in South Africa since 1969 and their major product is a "miracle multi-purpose cleaner", but I didn't let these two things put me off. The distributor came to see me yesterday, slightly against my will, you know what I'm like about marketing... and most of my questions stumped her. She came to explain to me the economy of the stuff, but I wanted to know how it was "kind to the environment". I was suitably impressed by some of their products (on an economy basis, their windolene-equivalent works out to 38c/500ml), but her Product Knowledge File didn't answer my questions, like: if the stuff kills all germs dead, then how can it be biodegradable? Doesn't biodegradable mean that the germs can kill the chemicals in the cleaner? Anyway, I've photocopied the relevant portions of her Product Knowledge File, and might have to wait until their website is launched, where there will be more Product Knowledge. I'll probably give some of their products a try, see if helps the bugs to survive in our conservancy tank, thus reducing the number of times we need to call the honeysucker... And wait expectantly for miracles.
Something that made me think, though... Much of what we put into the conservancy tank is product that we won't choose to change. Like Pantene 2-in-1, Dove soap, Nivea shaving gel (for sensitive skin) and JnJ Camomile baby wash (we're too scared to change this, as from 6 weeks the boys' routine was set!) The biodegradable range is hellish expensive, and I just can't see myself using anything but Pantene. *SIGH* A little bit is better than nothing, though, eh?
And an aside... I finally let Jack Johnson off repeat in my car, and was surprised by the next CD in the shuttle: Counting Crows (Hard Candy). Gareth and I call this "Sunday Music" cos we used to listen to it on a Sunday morning, and because the first song on the CD starts with "On certain Sundays in November..." I just love good music and good lyrics:
"Time expands and then contracts
When you are spinning
In the grips of someone
Who is not an ordinary girl"
Something that made me think, though... Much of what we put into the conservancy tank is product that we won't choose to change. Like Pantene 2-in-1, Dove soap, Nivea shaving gel (for sensitive skin) and JnJ Camomile baby wash (we're too scared to change this, as from 6 weeks the boys' routine was set!) The biodegradable range is hellish expensive, and I just can't see myself using anything but Pantene. *SIGH* A little bit is better than nothing, though, eh?
And an aside... I finally let Jack Johnson off repeat in my car, and was surprised by the next CD in the shuttle: Counting Crows (Hard Candy). Gareth and I call this "Sunday Music" cos we used to listen to it on a Sunday morning, and because the first song on the CD starts with "On certain Sundays in November..." I just love good music and good lyrics:
"Time expands and then contracts
When you are spinning
In the grips of someone
Who is not an ordinary girl"
Monday, August 15
Star-nosed moles
I'm enjoying the thirst for knowledge the boys have... I'm wondering if it's an age thing, or an exposure thing, but it's fabulous. Yesterday we taped "The Life of Mammals" on BBC Prime while we were having "sun-downers" on the beach, it was an episode about mammals that eat insects (insectivorous?) After beach and bath, the three boys sat down to watch it, while I made a highly nutritious supper of bovril toast and cheese, with optional yoghurt on the side. They were riveted. Apart from Timmo's occasional punctuation of David Attenborough's narration with "What's Yat, Dad", it was like someone had put my family on mute (ie bliss for me). Lasted just over half an hour before the springs in those little legs needed exercising again.
This morning, I wandered bleary-eyed into the boys' room, after they'd been militarily dressed by Dad and offered them "sharing-caring porridge and something on TV". Timmo says, without hesitation, "Timmo wants the insect one". I must have looked confused, cos he said "Please Timmo wants the insect one". Well, sharing-caring porridge went down a treat, and the boys were again riveted to elephant shrews, star-nosed moles, golden moles and pangolins. They've even started listening for David Attenborough to tell them what the critters were, before asking "What's Yat, Dad/Mom", now saying: "Look, Mom, a pangolin, a pangolin". I love it. And I love that they didn't ask for Jay-Jay the Jet Plane or Noddy.
This weekend Mom and I sorted out baby clothes (cos I had a Saturday night "min-dae" scare), washed them and figured out what we still need. Also parted with many home-knitted jerseys, a difficult task that I needed my mom's permission for. "It's the journey, not the destination, you know" she says, in her commonest accent. So, just in time for the end of winter, there are going to be some less-cold babies out there.
We also had some scrapbookers around for most of Sat ("cropcircle" of friends) to make baby albums. I've nearly finished Amra's one. Had great fun with Ali, Kim and Sarah. Ali and Kim shared their birthstories with me, at my request (not an entirely good idea, as my psyc had a little information overload on Sat night, preventing me from sleeping...) We ate chocolate brownies and missed Heidi.
This morning, I wandered bleary-eyed into the boys' room, after they'd been militarily dressed by Dad and offered them "sharing-caring porridge and something on TV". Timmo says, without hesitation, "Timmo wants the insect one". I must have looked confused, cos he said "Please Timmo wants the insect one". Well, sharing-caring porridge went down a treat, and the boys were again riveted to elephant shrews, star-nosed moles, golden moles and pangolins. They've even started listening for David Attenborough to tell them what the critters were, before asking "What's Yat, Dad/Mom", now saying: "Look, Mom, a pangolin, a pangolin". I love it. And I love that they didn't ask for Jay-Jay the Jet Plane or Noddy.
This weekend Mom and I sorted out baby clothes (cos I had a Saturday night "min-dae" scare), washed them and figured out what we still need. Also parted with many home-knitted jerseys, a difficult task that I needed my mom's permission for. "It's the journey, not the destination, you know" she says, in her commonest accent. So, just in time for the end of winter, there are going to be some less-cold babies out there.
We also had some scrapbookers around for most of Sat ("cropcircle" of friends) to make baby albums. I've nearly finished Amra's one. Had great fun with Ali, Kim and Sarah. Ali and Kim shared their birthstories with me, at my request (not an entirely good idea, as my psyc had a little information overload on Sat night, preventing me from sleeping...) We ate chocolate brownies and missed Heidi.
Friday, August 12
Young One: Amra Fae
Nick & Sheree have a little girl, born last Wednesday (by NATURAL BIRTH, in South Africa, awesome, huh?) Her name's Amra Fae, and is just so sweet.
Wishing you 3 long stretches of sleep and lots of love...
Wishing you 3 long stretches of sleep and lots of love...
hiccups
A bad night with Matthew last night... I'm not actually complaining, because they're few and far between now. Just in time, perhaps. But while in bed with Matt clinging to me for dear life, this babe within gives me two sharp kicks in the ribs. Perhaps it was the way I was lying (guiltily) or perhaps this little thing knows an emotion called jealousy so early on in life (woe is me), but it was really, REALLY sore. My first reaction was: smack it! how dare it treat its mommy like that. Then I realised (ok, this is somewhere between 1 & 3 in the morning), I am going to smack my own belly, which is decidedly counter-productive. Oh, boy, I have some adjustments to make... I'm pretty sure that I'm going to treat this like a new born babe, and not like a 2.5 year boy who knows better... Pretty sure, but not absolutely. Please don't report me to welfare, Gareth needs me.
Then, after I'd extracted myself (painfully and painfully slowly) from Matt's grip and his bed, and I sandwich myself into my own, between Gareth's and Gizmo's sprawled bodies, the babe within starts to hiccup. Now for most of you moms, this is not new, I'm sure. But for me, it was. I never felt the boys hiccup. Not sure if it's because they were two and it was too tight to hiccup, or because one's movements were masking the other's hiccups, but I didn't feel it, well, not convincingly. This was so regular and so sweet. I lay there grinning and contemplated waking Gareth up (don't be STUPID). I really should have been sleeping, this morning I'm feeling quite shattered. But full (of baby, really, but also full of family and other good feelings).
Then, after I'd extracted myself (painfully and painfully slowly) from Matt's grip and his bed, and I sandwich myself into my own, between Gareth's and Gizmo's sprawled bodies, the babe within starts to hiccup. Now for most of you moms, this is not new, I'm sure. But for me, it was. I never felt the boys hiccup. Not sure if it's because they were two and it was too tight to hiccup, or because one's movements were masking the other's hiccups, but I didn't feel it, well, not convincingly. This was so regular and so sweet. I lay there grinning and contemplated waking Gareth up (don't be STUPID). I really should have been sleeping, this morning I'm feeling quite shattered. But full (of baby, really, but also full of family and other good feelings).
Thursday, August 11
Interacting
The boys (2.36 yrs old) are chatting away in the car at 6.30-ish this am, and I'm resting with my eyes closed (yes, Gareth's driving) and I hear:
Matt: where we going?
Tim: to school.
Matt: nonsense, not to school. to nana's house.... for breakfast.
Tim: no, to school.
*longish pause*
Tim: oh, to nana's house.
Matt: yes, Tim, you right. to nana's house. you clever.
Gareth and I grin. Hearing them talk to each other, and hearing ourselves in their talk. And listening to Matt being his "class captain" self...
I remember seeing a book on twins (back 2 years ago when I wanted to buy any book with "twins" in the title) called "the joy of twins". And I'm thinking (then), joy? JOY? you mean, like flippen hard work, policing, crying, sweating, cleaning... Now I see it. My friends don't see this kind of interaction between their kids until much later. Then it's not on the "same grounds" like this - one being older. I'm starting to feel it.
ETA: Oh, and I wanted to write an entry about an email from Donna Downey and how I'm going to miss her and other "scrap-legends" coming to Jhb in early September, but I'll save it for another entry in case I gush. I know, gushing ain't pretty.
Matt: where we going?
Tim: to school.
Matt: nonsense, not to school. to nana's house.... for breakfast.
Tim: no, to school.
Tim: oh, to nana's house.
Matt: yes, Tim, you right. to nana's house. you clever.
Gareth and I grin. Hearing them talk to each other, and hearing ourselves in their talk. And listening to Matt being his "class captain" self...
I remember seeing a book on twins (back 2 years ago when I wanted to buy any book with "twins" in the title) called "the joy of twins". And I'm thinking (then), joy? JOY? you mean, like flippen hard work, policing, crying, sweating, cleaning... Now I see it. My friends don't see this kind of interaction between their kids until much later. Then it's not on the "same grounds" like this - one being older. I'm starting to feel it.
ETA: Oh, and I wanted to write an entry about an email from Donna Downey and how I'm going to miss her and other "scrap-legends" coming to Jhb in early September, but I'll save it for another entry in case I gush. I know, gushing ain't pretty.
Wednesday, August 10
Send happy dust for a natural birth
It's been good having the Schonkens around... They're off today, to Joburg, then back to the UK. I've so enjoyed chatting to Mel, getting a fresh view on birth & breastfeeding. SAfricans are just a bit stuck in their ways, like: if breastfeeding doesn't work, don't stress, just move on (no guilt trip), which is cool, but what about PERSEVERANCE? And natural birth... my friends, contemporaries are thinking I am thoroughly INSANE to even consider having a natural birth second time around. My previous caesar is just the perfect excuse to have another one... One friend was so shocked - she asked me when my caesar date was, I said I'm having a natural birth (Dr B says ok, thus far...) so I'm playing it by ear. She nearly fell down. Really.
So, you can guess what's on my mind at the moment. I've started reading the baby encyclopaedia mom gave me, for signs and breathing etc. I'm talking to a select few about their experiences. I've chatted to mom, who says, "you're not having pain relief, surely" (um, gas? does that count?) And been thinking about what's actually making me nervous. There are a few things: not know when (ja, but I didn't know with the boys, and that was cool), and the thought of a forceps or suction birth (Emma: "no cone-heads.") Need to get some reassurance from Dr B about these two - you only get to hear the horror stories. Oh, and the other thing I'm SO scared about: if something goes wrong, I'll feel like it's my fault (for not just going the caesar route.) But then, as a mom, I get to feel guilty about everything anyway. That's in-built.
So... Next week at my next scan, Dr B will probably say yeah or nay to natural birth. Holding thumbs. And trying my best to just trust him... Watch this space.
Rambling post, I know, but that's how my brain's working at the mo'.
So, you can guess what's on my mind at the moment. I've started reading the baby encyclopaedia mom gave me, for signs and breathing etc. I'm talking to a select few about their experiences. I've chatted to mom, who says, "you're not having pain relief, surely" (um, gas? does that count?) And been thinking about what's actually making me nervous. There are a few things: not know when (ja, but I didn't know with the boys, and that was cool), and the thought of a forceps or suction birth (Emma: "no cone-heads.") Need to get some reassurance from Dr B about these two - you only get to hear the horror stories. Oh, and the other thing I'm SO scared about: if something goes wrong, I'll feel like it's my fault (for not just going the caesar route.) But then, as a mom, I get to feel guilty about everything anyway. That's in-built.
So... Next week at my next scan, Dr B will probably say yeah or nay to natural birth. Holding thumbs. And trying my best to just trust him... Watch this space.
Rambling post, I know, but that's how my brain's working at the mo'.
Monday, August 8
Sweltering in the African Winter
We've had a blinking hot weekend! All of about 32 degrees most of the weekend. Berg winds (which we got 4 different explanations for, over Sunday lunch) and dry dry heat. Lovely for the beach. Mom, Jenny, Tim & I went to the beach on Saturday, for about 3 hours, and Tim swam and swam ("deeper, mommy, Timmo go under"). I love the look of delight on his face jumping over the waves. It was surprisingly calm (Jenny's word) having only one of them with us. Tim and I made sandcastles and flags with twigs and leaves. We drew shapes and letters in the sand (a capital D is not just "for Dad", it's also a semi-circle... I love how they see things out of the box!) We crawled around like babies and giggled. We sat in the water and let the waves catch our feet. The water was coolish and as flat as Greece-waves. Mom (Granny) rested and Jenny read "First Wives Club" (with a condom on her plastered wrist). Delightful morning, considering I got out on the wrong side of the bed.
Then yesterday, we went to the organic market. Well, there's not much of a "market" on a Sunday, but they serve a jolly fine breakfast (I had avo, bacon & feta on w/wheat bread, yum) and they have much entertainment for the boys. Jumping castles (x2!) and swings, and a sandpit, and chickens and some guineapigs (hiding). The photos are typical of these two little boys' personalities. Tim is a blur of activity & Matt stops to look and smile at the camera. Gorgeous.
We bumped into the Johnsons and Gerry at the organic market. Lynne was very impressed with the boys eating their egg breakfasts with knives and forks. What a mess, but you just have to let them. Besides, I didn't have to clean up!
Then yesterday, we went to the organic market. Well, there's not much of a "market" on a Sunday, but they serve a jolly fine breakfast (I had avo, bacon & feta on w/wheat bread, yum) and they have much entertainment for the boys. Jumping castles (x2!) and swings, and a sandpit, and chickens and some guineapigs (hiding). The photos are typical of these two little boys' personalities. Tim is a blur of activity & Matt stops to look and smile at the camera. Gorgeous.
We bumped into the Johnsons and Gerry at the organic market. Lynne was very impressed with the boys eating their egg breakfasts with knives and forks. What a mess, but you just have to let them. Besides, I didn't have to clean up!
Thursday, August 4
Just "talkin' shop"
I've just got my head around our first payment to a contractor. It involved drawing up a budget control form to show retentions, performance guarantees, insurance etc, and writing a cheque out for a whole bunch of money. Finally things are MOVIN' on our programme. Feels like we're on the home stretch.
The project we're paying out for is one of my "pets". I visited it first nearly two years ago. We're building an access road for a group of villages called Gubenxa, near Elliot (1,000 km round trip from here!) So you can see that this place REALLY needs the road, here's some pics I took of one of the worst spots in the road. At the bottom of the hill (pic on right), there were about 4 rusty taxi wrecks. We need to build the road before we can get materials in to build the other projects: a sheep shearing shed and two preschools. I am SO SO SO chuffed about this. I feel for once, that my job is actually making a difference, somewhere, somehow.
Just had to share...
The project we're paying out for is one of my "pets". I visited it first nearly two years ago. We're building an access road for a group of villages called Gubenxa, near Elliot (1,000 km round trip from here!) So you can see that this place REALLY needs the road, here's some pics I took of one of the worst spots in the road. At the bottom of the hill (pic on right), there were about 4 rusty taxi wrecks. We need to build the road before we can get materials in to build the other projects: a sheep shearing shed and two preschools. I am SO SO SO chuffed about this. I feel for once, that my job is actually making a difference, somewhere, somehow.
Just had to share...
"it's always better when we're together"
I really don't have time for this, but what the hell... while it's still fresh. I've been listening to Jack Johnson (or is it John Jackson?) in the car, and the first song is pretty awesome. Made me think about the amazing man I have as a husband...
A couple of Saturdays ago, we were chatting with a v good friend of my mom's and her sister (friend's sister). Her sister is pretty "old school" and kept on at me: "How DO you cope with twins?" & "How on EARTH are you going to cope with twins and a new one?" etc. I got rather annoyed... Mostly because it's not about me. And totally invalidates Gareth's role as a father (in our sense of the role, rather than hers.)
How do WE cope? We cope cos we're sensitive to each other's needs. We know when one of us has totally had enough and needs some time & space. In the last few months, I've needed more space than he has, and he's totally risen to the occasion. I get to drink tea in front of Oprah a couple of times a week. I get to park off while he's bathing the boys. I get tea in the mornings while he's dressing the boys. I'm really not boasting... I'm just publicly saying how much I appreciate him.
We'll manage "3 under the age of 3", because we're a team. And because, somewhere, in between, we're together.
A couple of Saturdays ago, we were chatting with a v good friend of my mom's and her sister (friend's sister). Her sister is pretty "old school" and kept on at me: "How DO you cope with twins?" & "How on EARTH are you going to cope with twins and a new one?" etc. I got rather annoyed... Mostly because it's not about me. And totally invalidates Gareth's role as a father (in our sense of the role, rather than hers.)
How do WE cope? We cope cos we're sensitive to each other's needs. We know when one of us has totally had enough and needs some time & space. In the last few months, I've needed more space than he has, and he's totally risen to the occasion. I get to drink tea in front of Oprah a couple of times a week. I get to park off while he's bathing the boys. I get tea in the mornings while he's dressing the boys. I'm really not boasting... I'm just publicly saying how much I appreciate him.
We'll manage "3 under the age of 3", because we're a team. And because, somewhere, in between, we're together.
Wednesday, August 3
Baby within
We had a check-up with Dr B yesterday... Everything looks hunky-dory! 33 weeks and counting! Dr B said "you still keen to push this baby out?" and I said, rather nervously, "yes, but you're in charge." Things looking fine (for now) for a natural birth, something I thought he'd be vemently against cos of previous caesar. So we're holding thumbs that babe is willing. This was my first visit to Dr B without having a scan... with the boys, he scanned everytime, just to check they were ok & to compare their weights to make sure they were keeping up with each other. Yesterday he felt around the belly, and used an ancient earpiece to listen to the heartbeat ("nice & strong"). Babe didn't like that much - gave him a skop on that cold earpiece.
I'm feeling a bit different today... I think the babe has moved a bit, making me a lot more comfortable. I am not waddling today, and I can get in & out the car/bed/chair easier.
Due date (for now) 18th Sept.
I'm feeling a bit different today... I think the babe has moved a bit, making me a lot more comfortable. I am not waddling today, and I can get in & out the car/bed/chair easier.
Due date (for now) 18th Sept.
Tuesday, August 2
Haircuts
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