Bhisho

I went to an interview for a "Deputy Director" position in Social Development in Bhisho on Monday. (Now: I dare you to say Bhisho, pronouncing the first "haytch" without sounding as breathless as the pace of Bhisho isn't.) I got there at 10.45 for an 11.30 interview, mostly because I didn't have the foggiest where the interview was. I found it in just under 14 seconds, because I was told it's the "tallest building in Bhisho". There are only about 6 buildings, and this one was most certainly the tallest, and there was a half-full car park right outside it. Finding Room 138 was more of a challenge. When I got there, I met an exceptionally dapper-dressed young man, full of nervous energy, who had been waiting since 8.00 for his 8.30 interview. And two other waitees, both with resigned composures.
I was interviewed by a panel of 6 at 1.30. It was short and to the point. They didn't seem to want to know much about me. Which was good, cos I gush when I'm nervous. I thought they were hurrying the interview up to catch up time by brushing my attempts at finding out more about the actual job, but mom said they probably didn't know any more than I did. On chatting with some others in the "know", she is most certainly right. One of the labour relations / union representatives nodded knowingly and comfortingly throughout the interview. I liked her.
Now I'm playing another waiting game. I don't suspect I'll get it, mostly because I think these positions are all earmarked, and the advertising-interview process is a coverup. But now I can't stop thinking about the what ifs. If I get this position, the decision to take it has so many implications. Travel, money, security, stability, family life, stress, work ethic. It's so hard to STOP thinking about it until I hear something from them (or don't). Like just SHUT UP, brain. I'm playing with the possibilities of consulting. Of teaching. Of taking a break for a couple of months (thanks Dad, I hadn't thought about that option, and now it's my favourite). Of clinging to Mvula, for what it's worth. Of marketing myself out there in the big bad world.
I think this is what I need at the moment. Time to reassess where I am. To work out where I'll be "safe and happy".
Right now, I just want to get on the beach with a good book and an umbrella. The weather is marvellous (bring on winter in the Eastern Cape!) and we're off to Hamburg tomorrow for three days. Yay.